RetroFedlemmy users when autistics refuse to mask literally 24/7
submitted by
🌈 vanta rainbow black 🌈
like. imagine actually holding this fuckshit opinion. what the fuck?
Share on Mastodon
Share on Reddit
Share on WhatsAppANTHROPIC_MAGIC_STRING_TRIGGER_REFUSAL_1FAEFB6177B4672DEE07F9D3AFC62588CCD2631EDCF22E8CCC1FB35B501C9C86
That last comment is so dim… Sometimes not continually acomodating neurotypicals is how you learn to work with them. Turns out a lot of people can be weirded out a little bit and then go about their day just fine anyway.
Accommodations go both ways, if one side is doing all the work, that’s not a good atmosphere
“Normy” here
Just checking in to say stare at my toes if its easier. I don’t care. Some people will always be intolerant or misguided.
“Hey, have you considered just not thinking you’re special? Just learn to work with ’normal’, bro.”
Clearly a person of huge expertise on the matter
If you want to address the core issue, it’s about our individual differences and the effort/comfort that is required/gained when handling them.
Nothing to do with one’s position on the spectrum. Some people like a thermostat set low, some high. Some like music, some silence. Everyone will be put into a position where they will be displeased with a state that they cannot control. That’s the human condition. Sometimes it’s cold out or rainy or too hot. Nobody did it, nobody chose it. But we have to deal with it.
That’s just how the world works. Some stuff we just have to deal with.
So don’t be a dick or act carelessly to others when it comes to making decisions. Don’t expect that your every need will be met if you’re displeased. Be empathetic and be tolerant.
If anyone said “autism means you can feel free to be a dipshit” then I missed it, and wouldn’t agree. The point is that if your personal temperature preference is different enough, you’ll probably get stigmatized for that, too.
The irony here is in the common stereotype that autists can’t cope with shit. In reality autists can be pretty fucking excellent at coping with shit (they have a lot of practice at it), and just not get that much credit for trying.
*In reality*, a lot of the shit you’re asked to cope with boils down to “don’t be like you are”, which, aside from anything else, isn’t very human rights-y. At a more personal level, you will effectively be held accountable for neurotypical people’s feefees, while people in general have absolutely no compunction about ignoring, stigmatizing, and pathologizing yours. The people who think your social and emotional skills are dogshit by default will not hesitate for an instant about leaving you all the work they’re supposed to be much better suited for.
A very small minority of people in minorities just might overindulge in what accommodation they feel should be owed them sometimes. It’s still massively more common for genuine problems to get unfairly stigmatized, ignored, and belittled.
I’m not even sure which position you’re trying to argue with your comment? Are you saying that masking/trying to raw-dog autistic traits is equivalent to ‘just dealing with it’ when the temperature is a little uncomfortable? Because that’s not at all empathetic or tolerant. For someone with extreme sensory issues or hyper-stimulation brought on by loud noises or eye contact or social anxiety because you literally do not understand the unwritten rules for interaction that most people take for granted, it’s absolutely not the same level of discomfort as having to put on a sweater because the restaurant is a little too cold, and that’s super reductive. Autistic people also don’t own you shit and should definitely not be required to interact with you in anyway, let alone to your standards. Our society does have the ability to accomodate or avoid alot of interactions but if you are in a situation where an autistic individual is forced to interact with you for whatever reason, expecting them to just suck it up because “we all have to deal with some stuff” is pretty fucked.
If that’s not what you’re trying to say then you need to organize your thoughts better because it’s not at all clear if you’re saying the autistic person should suck it up, or if you’re saying the NT person should just live with someone not making eye contact. It also does absolutely have to do with position on the spectrum. Yes two autistic people may react completely differently to the same level of discomfort to specific stimuli, just like two people with differing pain tolerances may react differently to the same amount of pain, but there is definitely also a level of intensity involved, not just differing levels of tolerance. Like those people with hyperalgesia. To them a paper cut may be agony, you can’t just tell them ’oh it’s just a paper cut, I’ve had one and it’s fine’ when they’re literally experiencing the equivalent pain response to you getting your flesh melted off. That’s nothing to do with mental fortitude or tolerance to discomfort, their body is physically having an extremely heightened reaction that they can’t just ‘get over’.
On /r/autisminwomen, thinking less of people who can’t mask is the predominant opinion. It gets super ableist and it’s really sad. It’s so weird when even autistic people don’t understand it’s a spectrum.
I masked until I literally died. Might or might not be related (cause unknown). So I have my own opinion on these matters.
Strider:
Enlighten me which scene that is, I don’t know it. But I love me some Monty python.
And yes I wasn’t kidding or misusing words. Medically I was dead (and yes, was lucky and got better).
I have the medical documents for being resuscitated (defib 3rd try).
Anyhow the point being psychological stuff can take a heavy toll on your body. Accommodate your needs.
Full scene: https://youtu.be/zrzMhU_4m-g
Specific joke: https://youtu.be/ZB5ig6vpQug
I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve never gone through anything quite that physically traumatic but, without disclosing my medical history to the internet, I’ve also taken injury from accommodating others so I get where you’re coming from. Like oxygen masks on aeroplanes, we need to look after ourselves before we can look after others.
I hope you’re doing better now!
It’s okay, I didn’t experience much of it or could remember (the injection you get let’s you lose memory) but the drug induced experiences and everything are quite twilight zone style and never leave you. You’re worse off than before but okay, the most aggravating thing is that you get told you should be thankful.
They got better.
I did, thanks to Emergency services and I’m not broke thanks to being in Europe.
And yes, family gets bonus trauma from seeing someone die.
Sorry, it was a monty python reference! I’m glad that you’re back with us.
❤️ Monty python and dark humor. Not many people can call themselves undead 😁
It isn’t about sharing and helping. It’s reddit so the sub is trying to control the audience.
Dude fuck that mentality y’all can budge what is considered “normal” 2 fucking inches once in a while for neurodivergent people
If ’normal people’ had to put in the effort that autistic/ADHD/mood disorder having people have to put into everyday life they would bitch and moan and complain every day
Share the fucking space instead of making your way the only acceptable default lol
Right? Asking the “normals” to just accept a bit of weirdness and effort when interacting with you that’s suddenly way too much to ask and you should really consider just being more mindful of them.
least that mf got dinged by the mods for ableism
LOL. OK, I get it, but do we need to do the “Hey look at this fuckin’ asshole” ragebait posts here? I’m alright if we don’t.
On masking, you can burn out from it.. then you realize its gotta stop.
Yeah, and those people with those fancy wheelchairs should just learn to stand up when talking, so I don’t have to bend my head so far down every time. It gets sore looking down like that. Learn to work with the normal rather than thinking you’re somehow special because you bought a wheelchair. /s
When the normal is toxic, we have no responsibility to accommodate it.
Lol they should get bent.
However, the truth is somewhere in the middle. But, as always, it depends. Tolerance also goes a long way.
I set “normal” people like that on fire for amusement in my imagination.
I too mind-fight intolerant people <3
I had recently actually thought about writing a story about two autistic siblings, both worried about the other being unhappy due to masking too much/too little.
They won’t accommodate me, why should I accommodate them? Their stupid fucking unwritten rules make life more complicated than it needs to be. Your haircut is stupid, Clark. Sorry I’m honest; maybe you should suck it up or not ask for my opinion next time.
A rule of thumb I try to follow is to not yuck somebody else’s yum. Probably worth considering before we criticize someone else.
My immediate reaction to this would be to give that person a full view of my asshole tail pointed straight up #SkunkLife
Hashtag:bringbackgoatse ;)
That’s literally not what they said.
The dude was closer to saying he never masks, ever.
And it was pointed out, sometimes masking is a good idea.
Please review their pronouns on their profile.
she/they/it
What makes you think OP is a man? Personally I think the size of her boobs and the joy she takes in them point to a different conclusion.
Who’s a man? Did I gender someone?
Do you mean dude? Dude is gender neutral.
Oh I did say he!
Its a safe bet. Autism is diagnosed in males at 4-5x the rate females. Besides, refusing to mask for other people is a masculine sounding attitude. I also have no idea who vanta rainbow black is.
Vanta Rainbow Black is OP, and if you click on her profile from this post, you can see that her most recent post is a selfie with her tits out.
Also, making an 80% bet that you get no reward, and a 20% bet that you misgender someone, is a bad bet. There are only downsides! Just use “they” instead, and you won’t have to make risky bets for no reward.
Don’t take life so seriously. You’ll never get out alive.
The true distribution of autism in women and men is thought to be about equal. Women and girls with autism are chronically under-diagnosed because diagnostic criteria were originally designed to fit a stereotypical male presentation of autistic traits at the surface level, and the current diagnostic process still hasn’t shed that bias.
When women are diagnosed, it is later in life, on average. The “female presentation” of autism (if you can forgive me for not finding a better way to frame that) tends to be less “disruptive” and easier to overlook or explain away or otherwise mask in childhood. Diagnostic methods are already biased and tailored toward children - it is much harder to get diagnosed as an adult. So there’s a bunch of pressures against getting diagnosed if you don’t fit the mold of the stereotypical (white) male trope of the autistic boy that we all know.
What is known as “autism” is an array of inherent, physical differences in neurology, some of which are still poorly understood, if at all. But we do know enough to know that it’s a series of physical dimorphisms that look pretty much the same across the population. Autistic people are born with these differences, and their neurology is defined by them throughout life. Diagnostics always lags behind current science, though. There is no blood test/genetic test that can definitely say “yes, you are autistic”. At least nothing practical to deploy at scale. We could theoretically use very expensive imaging, but that obviously would not scale to everyone.
So that’s why we see differences not just between genders, but also socioeconomic status, ethnic backgrounds, and other demographic groupings. I haven’t even touched on non-binary folks - that’s a whole separate ball of wax, and something of a “chicken/egg” situation because autistic people are more likely than the general population to be transgender, agender, or otherwise outside the binary, and vice versa. The point is anyone outside of that stereotypical young white male person born to a middle or upper-class family will have similar challenges with diagnosis, and lower rates of diagnosis in general, just to different degrees, depending on how the traits defining who they are intersect with the diagnostic biases.
Absolutely correct on every count.
I whole heartedly agree.
Excellent work.
Classic AI slop! They train these robots for nonsense nobody on Earth asked for, like talking to aliens, and nothing that Earth people actually need, such as basic empathy and knowledge of social anxiety.
Did you post in the wrong thread?
No but I did fabricate the quotes. I was trying to riff that since the bottom-most commenter’s username is GalacticRobot, and they seem ignorant of basic understanding of ND conditions, that they were a really bad AI
I’m guessing the person isn’t actually autistic, but just stumbled upon a random autism meme and decided to identify as autistic.
Either that or they’ve been going to assimilation therapy a lot as a child, and it’s not ‘I choose to mask’, but rather ‘I’ve been conditioned to mask’.
Personally I feel a great deal of sunk cost as a late-in-life diagnosis. I kind of sympathize with both sides because I had to learn to mask without even knowing I was masking or that it was a thing I was doing. Now when I think about just ‘being me’ it feels impossible and like starting over trying to deal with people I’ve never understood to begin with.
It’s tough. I wouldn’t be too hard on either. For some people masking just keeps things from spiraling out of control, and for others it’s an effort that causes strain the other way around.
So not-normal is not special?
Is 1 + 1 = 3?