Mail Delivery [Beetle Moses]

I’d play the shit out of a game where you’d have to deliver parcels, packages, letters to weirder and weirder places, while tying a larger story together (an awesome story).

Gonna have to break the barnacles off its feet while it continues to stomp around so it’ll lay down and let you climb aboard.

Or ride your spirit horse and use a magical jump pad to get up there.

This could be a fun video game

Post Office Simulator meets Shadow of the Colossus

Looks like a Legend of Zelda side quest.

Should be an Amazon package cause they abuse USPS as a service cause Fedex, UPS, etc aint delivering up there or on tops of mountains. USPS will though. But it’s not “profitable.” Because it’s a service not a business dipshits.

Skyrim courier would find a way

🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

Nothing worse then the postman who had to kill himself to deliver a letter to Death in tv show I watched once. Good Omens was the show.

I like this comic but Beetle Moses needs to actually look at a tortoise, haha.

Their arms and legs don’t pop out of holes in their shells, their shells are more like wraps around their torsos (it’s a strapless dress, not a onesie). Also those scutes (panels of the shell) are fucked.

… Why yes, I’m fun at parties, why do you ask?

Look, there is Fastitocalon!
An island good to land upon,
Although ’tis rather bare.
Come, leave the sea! And let us run,
Or dance, or lie down in the sun!
See, gulls are sitting there!
Beware!
Gulls do not sink.
There they may sit, or strut and prink:
Their part it is to tip the wink,
If anyone should dare
Upon that isle to settle,
Or only for a while to get
Relief from sickness or the wet,
Or maybe boil a kettle.

Ah! foolish folk, who land on HIM,
And little fires proceed to trim
And hope perhaps for tea!
It may be that His shell is thick,
He seems to sleep; but He is quick,
And floats now in the sea
With guile;
And when He hears their tapping feet,
Or faintly feels the sudden heat,
With smile
HE dives,
And promptly turning upside-down
He tips them off, and deep they drown,
And lose their silly lives
To their surprise.
Be wise!

There are many monsters in the Sea,
But none so perilous as HE,
Old horny Fastitocalon,
Whose mighty kindred all have gone,
The last of the old Turtle-fish.
So if to save your life you wish
Then I advise:
Pay heed to sailors’ ancient lore,
Set foot on no uncharted shore!
Or better still,
Your days at peace on Middle-earth
In mirth
Fulfil!

J. R. R. Tolkien.

There’s a manga about exactly this

Omfg this is so relatable from doing deliveries

At least he found the turtle