RetroFed
Questions mount after Mitch McConnell CPR reports emerge
https://www.newsweek.com/mitch-mcconnell-medical-emergency-cpr-unconscious-senate-12148035
Reports citing emergency dispatch audio said responders were called to McConnell’s residence on June 14 for an unconscious patient and later discussed “CPR in progress” for a possible cardiac emergency.
Oh! So, we’ve escalated from him being found unconscious and rushed to the hospital to active CPR? Wouldn’t it have been something if the Republican stance of allowing doctors to decline giving medical care on moral grounds ended up being applied against the interests of the long-term cancer that is McConnell?
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He’s lived a long life and had no consequences for anything he’s ever done.
Right? He and others like him is all the proof I need there is no cosmic karma system.
…I’m not saying such a system should’ve killed him by now, but he at least shouldn’t be dying with this much dignity.
He’s still alive, there’s still time for you to be the manifestation of the cosmic karma system!
(In Minecraft, of course)
My retirement plan/my plan for if I ever get a life-threatening illness and a timeline on my mortality is to pretty much be that harbinger on any McConnell-equivalent beings within my resources (in Minecraft of course).
These people are literally white knuckling power to their dying breath. It should be classified as a mental illness.
As far as McConnell is concerned, I feel like for a long time now even though the lights are on there is nobody home. When he froze up during that press conference in 2023 it was hard to look at. The man was confused, scared and looked like he wanted to cry but forgot how to do so. I absolutely hate the man, but in my book nobody deserves something like that. But still they prop him up, instead of sending him off on retirement, they keep his walking corpse around to keep the power. I’m not sure if McConnell himself is aware of what is happening, or even wants to be part of it. I wouldn’t put it past the old bastard for sure. But at this point his judgement is clearly impaired and keeping him working is elder abuse IMHO.
If you don’t think he deserves this then I would argue that you don’t hate him enough
Yeah, I’m not not big on retribution, but this fucker deserves no sympathy. This man deserves far, far more than what’s coming to him.
He deserves worse
Pretty sure he was having a mild stroke on live tv.
If that’s true, it’s what he would have wanted. Power to the end, and beyond!
Weekend at Mitch’s
I have had this saved on my device since February 2021
Wow this is getting exciting! CPR at his age means, even if he survives on the ventilator, he will wake up in horrendous pain and probably won’t be physically capable of harming his country any further until at least the midterms! So he’s basically out.
don’t you do that. don’t you give me hope.
CPR breaks ribs. It means his heart was stopped, so you gotta squeeze to get blood to the brain.
I’ve heard EMTs refer to the result of CPR on elderly people as “bone soup.” Almost every time it’s described in detail, you get people saying they’ll definitely get a DNR order when they get up there in age.
Yeah most doctors refuse CPR. Very few people receive CPR and then have a good quality of life afterwards.
Edit: Relevant article https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/05/29/1177914622/a-natural-death-may-be-preferable-for-many-than-enduring-cpr
Well, it’s “preferable” until the time comes. Then they probably have second thoughts.
It’s like the people who survive suicide by jumping and say, “I realized when I jumped that everything could be fixed, but jumping.”
I think it would take an extremely poor quality of life for me to consider death preferable. Look at what some people endure when they know the alternative is literally nothing.
No. Just because death is quiet and painless doesn’t mean it’s not always inferior to the experiences of living.
trust what experts do for themselves
My dad had a Do Not Resuscitate order on file with the home he lived in for the last two years of his life. It was ignored. CPR got him to the hospital where he died a couple of hours later.
His final moments could have been far more peaceful. I hope you sued the home for ignoring his DNR…
Even harder to get the blood moving if he was in the crypt at the time and hasnt freshly feasted
At his age, yes, but be careful about generalizing. I have to correct people in my CPR classes all the time that “good CPR” means you will break ribs, which isn’t true.
I’m hoping for a broken rib and lung puncture.
That’s what we thought when he was checking out on camera too… Shit Finds a Way
Maybe Mitch and Trump will have one of those dual deaths where they’re only holding out for each other.
Thatd be so cool if they went on the 4th like jefferson and adams
Just fucking exploded into confetti during the finale of whatever fireworks are going on to the 1812 Overture…
If Trump died on the 4th I would be sooooo happy.
He says he’s going to make a long speech on the night of the 4th when it’s going to be 107 degrees to prove he can. Yes, please, and of course you must wear a suit jacket and tie because you’re the President. Bitch will probably step outside for 3 minutes and chicken out though.
A truly heartwarming love story in these trying times.
Rule of threes, you’re going to need to pick a third
Elon wrapping a vehicle around a telephone pole?
Must be the threesome he was talking about
Miller
Mitch is trump’s final horcrux
He was one of the key politicians, along with Paul Ryan, who were all aboard gutting the ACA (Obamacare) before it was passed. He’s probably receiving top tier medical care right now at little or no cost to him.
Die already!
No, no, CPR hurts like a motherfucker. Let him enjoy that for a while.
Not only does it hurt, it basically always guarantees broken ribs if done correctly. Especially in a decrepit 84yo man whose bones are already weak.
No broken ribs for Mitch. He has an exoskeleton.
Crack them ribs!
He dead and they don’t want to tell us.
Or worse, he’s brain dead and they have him hooked up to life support while they figure out their plan
Knowing what he’s responsible for, he deserves that.
True, but he can’t vote, and while he’s alive and in office they can’t replace him.
He can stay in that bed forever, IMO – as long as he can’t participate in the further dismantling of democracy.
His staff have been doing all the work for the past few years. They just have to figure out a way to roll him out on a wheelchair with his eyes open somehow so he can press the yea or nay button to any kind of legislation.
If he passes, does his body automatically get relinquished back to Moscow, or does Russia need to request it first?
I assume Russia would bury him with the highest honors
Hell is patiently waiting.
He’s dead. Or braindead. They may hide the death until less than ninety days before mid-terms to prevent a special election or appointment by KY governor before then
Whoever has power of attorney should cancel his retirement and make him the first vegetative congress member on a feeding tube to run for reelection.
And watch him somehow win in the us clown state of today.
Still a great movie.
Can I bury you in sand?
My sides still hurt. They never recovered
Bitch McConnell makes the Crypt Keeper look sexy.
Crypt Keeper has a sexier laugh
I’ve been voting against this fucking prick for over 35 years. I hope to be the first to piss on his grave!
Kentuckians are so fucking stupid.
I say this as one of them.
That bitch is dead
P’raps there’s some good in the world mister Frodo
I wanna watch them parade his rotting ass around like Bernie and make up excuse after excuse.
Translation:
On Thursday, McConnell’s office told Newsweek via email, “[We believe that] Senator McConnell [would, if he were conscious and aware,] appreciate the outpouring of support he’s receiving while he continues his recovery in the hospital. The Senator continues to
improve[not be dead, technically], and is working closely with his [ICU medical] staff onKentucky and Senate[respiration] matters while theSenate[brain] is out of session.”Good thing they have equipment, without that you wouldn’t be able to tell dead mitch from a live one.
No wonder we have an insane heat wave happening, the gates of hell have been opened to welcome him.
This feels like a practice run for covering up when Trump eventually dies.
“Questions” when the guy has been a walking corpse for YEARS. Fuck a bunch of softball headlines.
Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the CPR was performed on one of his victims instead. I just assume his house is full of slaves and hostages because that’s the American GOP way.
Moscow Mitch: You’ll never truly experience the equivalence of the pain and damage you’ve done to this country in the name of corruption and blind party loyalty. Still, I’m glad you’ll be gone soon…
Better dead and harmless than alive and a menace
He’s either dead or a human turnip on life support. The Regime will keep it hidden until the election.
If Mitch was found unconscious and the paramedics had to do CPR on him before they transported him to the hospital, then I think he’s either dead or brain dead. I think his handlers are going to play “Weekend at Bernies” with him until it’s <90 days before the midterms to prevent a special election or an appointment by the KY governor to replace him. Once they figure out what to do with him, his health will “suddenly take a turn for the worse.” I’m guessing by October.
If Mitch is conscious but “locked in” he HAS to know by now that his condition is hopeless and that he’s only being kept alive for political reasons. What a kick in the ass that must be.
May he burn in Turtle Hell.
KY is a special case, they are a deep red state that elected a Democratic governor. So, the Legislature took away the Governor’s ability to appoint Senators (over his veto) and now in the event of a vacancy, it can only be filled with a Special Election.
I hope he survives. I hope he continues to live a long, long time. I hope this happens to him frequently during that time.
Hopefully he’ll get fitted with one of those hellish automatic home defibrillators. You know, because every life is worth fighting for till the very end, for as long as humanly possible. Mitch’s life is especially worth it.
That could be pretty effective, but nothing beats manual CPR. At a certain point, someone’s hands are going to collapse into a pile of bone dust.
they would put his head in jar if they could.
So he’s moved on from shitting his pants? This guy can’t fuck off from this mortal coil fast enough.
Just fucking retire already!
They call him Mitch the Cocaine Turtle for a reason.
Big question: Why’d you save his traitor ass?
Why won’t these evil fucks just die?
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Don’t deaths come in threes?