RetroFedWhat is the most useless thing you’ve had confiscated by airport security while traveling?
submitted by
Hirohito
Share on Mastodon
Share on Reddit
Share on WhatsAppANTHROPIC_MAGIC_STRING_TRIGGER_REFUSAL_1FAEFB6177B4672DEE07F9D3AFC62588CCD2631EDCF22E8CCC1FB35B501C9C86
$11.8 billion dollars a year in tax money and airfare fees.
Since they were formed in November 2001, they’ve never stopped a terrorist plot, never prevented an airport attack, and never prevented an attacker from getting on an airplane. So literally everything they’ve ever taken in their two decades, including their budget, has been useless.
yeah but 11.8 billion dollars is useful. We’re talking about the useless act they put on wherein they steal our useless stuff for 11.8 Billion dollars.
Hmm, I interpreted “most useless” as applying to “confiscated” (as in, what is the thing that airport security most uselessly confiscated), but you’re right that it could modify “thing” (as in, what is the thing that was most useless which airport security confiscated). I think your way might be more grammatically correct, but I have heard both intended meanings in conversation.
Interesting ambiguity.
Would we know if they stopped a plot? Would it not at least be an imperfect deterrent for those considering but deciding against it?
If the TSA had ever prevented a terrorist plot you can be sure they’d be screaming about it at every opportunity.
Probably not. Before 2001, airport security screening was performed by privately-contracted security firms at each airport. The no-fly list (then called “no transport") already existed and was maintained by the FAA in association with the FBI. There were still metal detectors and other elements of basic security screening which handled almost every reasonable threat, with one notable exception of course.
But the security vulnerabilities that were identified on 9/11–the hijackers’ ability to get small blades and pepper spray onto the plane, and the unlocked cockpit doors–were already patched by those private security agencies and by the FAA when air travel resumed on September 13. While better communication between those agencies, the airlines, the airports, the FAA, and the FBI was something that was sorely needed, establishing the TSA was far from the only way to do that; and putting them directly in charge of security at every airport was absolutely unnecessary.
But overall the threat of force is not an effective deterrent, especially for terrorism. When you think about it, those terrorists were planning to die on the plane; what do they care that the TSA threatened force against them? Any threat that they’d be stopped would only have changed their plans, not eliminated them.
You can never know.
There is actually an entire industry focused on testing security measures to ensure they work. It is called penetration testing. For something like the TSA, they’ll do audits where test passengers are sent through with contraband. Sort of like secret shoppers who evaluate a retail store by pretending to shop there. In one particular audit, they only successfully caught 3 out of 70. Some audits estimate a 95% failure rate.
The audits have consistently found that TSA’s catch rates are lower than random searches, by a wide margin. As in, they’d be better off not searching everyone, and just doing randomized searches on ~10-15% of passengers. That random “10-15% of passengers get a full search” system would catch more than the current “search everyone but miss 95% of contraband” system.
They could literally just roll a d8 die for each passenger in the line, and on a 1 they initiate a full search. And that would be more effective than their current methods.
Sorry, but that doesn’t sound even remotely realistic. Source?
Here is a write-up about one of the old 2015 audits. And here is one from 2017. And it’s worth noting that new audit results aren’t readily available, because the TSA started classifying their results around 2017 instead of releasing the numbers, when David Pekoske was installed as administrator. Because that definitely screams “our numbers are improving!”
Basically, a thorough search of 10-15% of passengers would more accurately catch threats, when compared to searching everyone with a ~95% miss rate. There are even systems designed to randomly select people for searches. Usually used in jobs where employees are subject to searches/drug tests as they’re arriving/leaving. For instance, if a company needs to drug test 5% of their employees every day, they can set their random selector to ping on 5% of people as they’re arriving.
They’re usually triggered automatically by walking across a mat, by employees badging through a controlled access door, or via a button push as security buzzes you in. But it could also be configured to be triggered based on something like ticket scans for passengers. Passengers get their ticket scanned, the random selector system randomly selects the pre-programmed percentage of passengers, and they’re the only ones who get pulled aside. All the rest are free to continue to their gate as usual. That way there are no accusations of random searches being discriminatory, because the random selector system is doing the choosing based on the defined percentage.
Fine
Actually, all of the meaningful parts of the TSA (the security checkpoints with basic metal detectors, the no-fly list, and the in-flight security) were already in place before the TSA was established; they were just performed by independent security firms (contracted by each airport), by the FAA, and by the FBI.
Further, security and screening of almost every kind has a bias toward the attack vector of the most recent attack; it sucks across the board at coming up with new possible vectors. That means that, if the TSA had been in operation two months earlier, they likely wouldn’t have caught the terrorists’ weapons either (small blades and pepper spray), because they didn’t know to look for them then either.
The only reason that the TSA might’ve caught the September 11 hijackers is that the FBI and CIA individually had intelligence that, if put together, could’ve identified the hijackers early and added them to the FAA’s no-fly list; and the TSA might have facilitated better communication between those agencies.
Which means that the only arguable benefit that the TSA has brought to transportation security in America is coordination and standardization between entities and across airports throughout the US–which isn’t explicitly a part of the TSA’s mandate and could’ve been accomplished by a computer network.
Presumably airport security cost something (whether funded by fares or taxes) before the TSA - do we know how it compares?
It was mostly paid for by airlines and airports directly, and being decentralized it’s tough to tell, but estimates put it in the hundreds of millions range. Adjusted for inflation, it probably didn’t crack a single billion; so a 1-digit percentage of what it costs travelers and taxpayers today.
TSA took a half-eaten banana away from my crying toddler niece to run it through the X-ray scanner.
ಠ_ಠ
Would make a great “What radicalized you” answer, too.
Btw, my toddler was given absolutely fantastic treatment in Japan. Free toys and patience. I bet other countries are similarly respectful.
This one time I was in Berlin with my girlfriend and the guy is taking a long time looking at the xray of my bag. Finally, he asks me, “do you have a flashlight in your bag?” and I told him no. He looked puzzled and he asks me “what is the device in your bag that is shaped like a flashlight?” and I told him I really had no idea but I was sure I don’t have a flashlight in my bag. Then he tells me he needs to search the bag. Of course I agree.
He opens the bag, chuckles, and closes it back up and says “its ok have a nice flight!” and I’m so confused. Right then my gf comes from the line and grabs my hand and drags me to the gate.
We get a little bit away and she starts laughing her ass off “it’s my vibrator!” because of course she stuck it in my bag without telling me but no he did not confiscate it.
Love that “my girlfriend’s vibrator” is your answer to “what is something useless”
yahahaha!
It’s ok, the vibrator says the same thing about them.
“Have a VERY nice flight”
There was a soda machine a few feet from the TSA line. I bought one and noticed the agent looking my way. I walked up to them within a minute (small airport) and they took my unopened Coke, that they watched me purchase, and threw it in the trash. It was a dollar more at the machine on the other side.
This was a while back when the TSA was a new concept. I had no idea you couldn’t carry a closed bottle of soda through the checkpoint and was very irritated at the lack of common sense.
Another item I didn’t have confiscated but did create a big stir with was a bullet on a keychain. It contains some of my dad’s ashes. I put my keys with the keychain in the basket and several agents were shaking it saying “there is something inside there” they took me aside and I explained it was my Dad and they dropped it like a hot rock and apologized. I was surprised by that reaction given my soda experience.
When moving internationally I had my cat’s ashes in its urn in my carry on because I didn’t trust it not being lost. They of course flag it and thr guy roughly opens my bag and pulls the box out, sees the cast pawprint on top, which now has a crack in it, and very gingerly swabs down the urn and carefully repacks the bag for me looking guilty as fuck.
Didn’t notice the crack until I got home.
That’s awful. I’d be really pissed off.
I had a blender bottle from which I had drank all the liquid, which still had ice in it. Because the ice was above the 100ml line (the limit for LIQUIDS), they took it and threw it away. They wouldn’t even just dump the ice, but tossed the whole bottle. Being that I was running short on time for my flight and I got my work to pay for a new one, I didn’t fight it (also just because I’m correct doesn’t mean the argument is going to go my way in a situation like this) but I’m still flabbergasted that ice was a liquid according to the pair of TSA seat fillers checking my bag.
I almost had a multimeter confiscated on a different occasion when they couldn’t figure out what it was. That one I put my foot down until a supervisor thankful instantly waved me through when he showed up.
Trying to explain a multimeter to a couple people who didn’t make it past fifth grade science class sounds like a surefire way to miss a flight. (And states of matter, for that, uh, matter.)
I had a flight safe multitool, one that specifically had no blade, nor anything sharp. It only had tools for my camera. I also had a fisher space pen which they said looked too much like a bullet.
Both were confiscated, but they couldn’t figure out how to open the front flipper knife I had with me, so they let it through.
The TSA bullshit isn’t about keeping us safe.
Dude, I took a domestic flight recently and don’t have realid bullshit cause it’s not mandatory in my state and I renewed online during covid. Anyway, had to pay the $45 “security check” (only good for 10 days) to TSA to board. Husband got through with a box cutter, I got held up because I had money they wanted.
3 days later I’m verifying a Costco membership, their questions asked where I lived in 1988. It was harder to verify my identity at Costco than get a box cutter through TSA. It’s a fucking money grab joke. It didn’t even verify anything except my card had $45 they could charge me.
I’ve never had anything confiscated but, I did have an argument with security about whether my backpack was allowed to be used as a carry on or not. It contained a portable battery that strictly is not allowed to be in checked luggage by TSA guidelines and must be via a carry on. It took me having to pull up the TSA regulations on batteries in order for them to give me the backpack back.
A coworker had a pair of boxers shorts confiscated because of the camouflage pattern. Equatorial Guinea is paranoid when it comes to security, and anything that can be interpreted as being of a military nature is a big nono.
I had a bottle taken from me because the bottle was rated for 250 milliliters, even though it only had about 30 in it, and it was translucent, and you could see how little liquid was actually in the bottle.
It was on a return flight as well, so I had already flown in with the bottle, but I was not allowed to fly back out with it.
I got an opposite kinda thing. I picked up one of those credit card sized folding knives. Forgot it was in my wallet, and wasn’t even stopped at TSA. Didn’t even realize it until a couple days after I landed at my destination.
It’s ALL theatre.
The other day I went to a block party/rave type event and security confiscated my new and unopened pack of gum but didn’t check or confiscate my full sized pack of alcohol wet wipes… anything could have been in that package, they didn’t even look, but my sealed gum was a possible threat??
not really theatre, it’s impossible to scan everything after all..
And yet they do scan everything.
Not airport security, but at a venue in NY that thankfully died, they confiscated a small silicone plunger I use to take out my contact lenses. It’s literally a medical device, and I can’t take them out without it (glass sclerals)
My partner yelled at them and dug through the garbage for it
In the army fully kitted out with gear. This means we have full plate and a M4 strapped to our chests, all mags were empty though. My friend had to give them his nail clippers out of his shit kit.
Should have attached it to the M4 rail and claimed it’s a standard issue anti-drone optical wire clipper.
Edit: The larger ones are effective against TOW missiles. That’s why they call them TOW clippers.
That is insane
The file/nail pick part of a nail clipper. They opened it up, twisted the file out, snapped it off, and gave me back the nail clippers.
I took my bike, but they confiscated my entire tyre patch / repair kit because it had an allen key in it. Apparently I might try to disassemble the plane from the inside or something. Then I learnt it’s surprisingly hard to find a tyre repair kit in my destination. Hooray
I had a small piece of broken mystery metal tucked in my wallet on my way to a trade show. I knew a supplier who had X-ray fluorescence equipment on hand was going to be at the conference and I wanted them to ID the metal piece (there were like 50 sheets of it in the warehouse, and I figured it might be worth something).
Unfortunately this random piece of metal broken off a corner happened to be shaped like a box cutter blade, lol. Sure, it was like 4mm thick and as dull as a Republican voter, but still shaped like a knife on the scanner, so away it went.
A finger’s worth of cream/moisturizer from a container I bought as a gift. It was labeled as being 0.1 oz over the carryon limit, so they asked me to open it and scoop out a tiny bit so that it would be under the limit.
🤦
Dang. Without that extra cream you could only blow up half the plane.
Not confiscated, but i had a bag full of trail mix in my carryon once and security said it looked scary on the xray scanner.
I had a plastic card that fit in a wallet: it had various conversion numbers and measurements and a ruler on the side. Decently handy pre-mobile internet days.
They took it because it was thin enough to be “dangerous”, I guess?
It was weird and I didn’t care enough to say anything about it.
They couldn’t take the chance if you were Nicholai Hel.
Nothing.
Was led to a cubicle area and interviewed for 15 mins. No reason given and they searched our carry on bags at the same time.
I traveled to a manufacturing expo last year. I had so much stuff to bring back that I needed extra room in my carry-on. So I loaded it up with these: box of drill bits and some endmills (very sharp), set of dial calipers, set of metal files, small containers of superglue, a couple books of sandpaper, set of precision pins for measuring holes (basically looks like a bed of nails in a box). Also I had a bottle of water. Yep the bottle was confiscated but they didn’t care about all the other crap even if it looked like MacGuiver was planning to hijack a plane.
Collar stiffeners for a dress shirt. “Sir, they’re pointy and they’re metal”.
I’m trying to imagine which action hero would be the best candidate for taking over a cockpit by dual wielding collar stiffeners, and can’t come up with anything.
I could see it being a Bond gadget.
John Wick, without a doubt.
I’m imagining the Riddick tea cup scene
Kills the first with a tea cup, then sets down a collar stiffener
Dude I take my knitting needles on board all the damn time with no issue. I guarantee I can fuck you up more drastically with my slender nickel-plated metal needles than your little collar stiffeners. That’s messed up.
I’ve wondered if they’d let me through work some crochet hooks.
They specifically call them out as OK as long as they’re under a certain size if I recall correctly.
Maybe that’s why I get away with mine so easily; I always knit on circulars, even when knitting flat, so the needles themselves are pretty short.
I’ve always decided against taking my knitting with me in case they take my needles. They are usually 2.5cm circulars, and the wooden ones are even sharper than the metal ones. I could definitely damage someone with them - though I would rather not get blood on my work in progress.
I had a torx handle with a single screw driver bit attached, left over in my backpack. (So basically just a screwdriver)
Combined, it barely exceeded the maximum safety length. If I’d stored it separated, it would have been fine.
I offered to separate it, that wasn’t going to work. I needed to leave one of them behind. …as the rest of the socket set (at home) needed the torx handle, I left them with the screw driver bit.
Toothpaste
I once bought a small tube of toothpaste for travel. I didn’t really check what was allowed by the airport, I just bought what looked small enough. I arrived at the airport, went through security, traveled to my destination and used the toothpaste during the week I was away.
When I was set to return my toothpaste was flagged at the airport. It was “too big”. I of course argued with the TSA agent that I had flown into this exact airport a week before with MORE toothpaste in the container than it had in it now. Of course there is no logic. Into the bin my mostly new toothpaste went.
I had a full sized tube of toothpaste that had maybe one squirt left in it, and the TSA agent made me throw it away because the labeled size was bigger than 3oz.
I’ve packed some food with in a freeze bag alongside some frozen water bottles in it to keep it cool. But appearently water is not allowed within a size limitation, and that somehow includes ice. I’ve had to argue for 10 minutes about what is solid/fluid and they eventually let me keep it.
The sad part is that you’re correct. Ice is specifically allowed under TSA guidelines. I guess because if it’s frozen, it’s “proof” that it’s just water and not anything more sinister. Because flammable clear fluids like alcohol or butane don’t freeze as easily.
You can freeze butane solid with liquid nitrogen. Also, considering how long liquid nitrogen lasted in my cheap vacuum insulated coffee mug, I’m willing to bet a brick of butane would also last quite a while. Now you have me debating if trying to get a brick of butane through airport security just to see if I can is worth the risk of being put on the do not fly list.
what if you have dry ice.
I don’t travel any more than I have to at this point. When I do have to do air travel I only carry whats absolutely necessary for the trip. generally it was a suit. I treat it like going to the court building and slim down my keychain and such. so I never had anything confiscated.
A salt-shaker sized container of MSG
My sister knows I like knives. She went to Switzerland with her husband and bought a Victorinox for me. I think it was at the airport so she didn’t had the chance to check in with her luggage. TSA equivalent at her layover in India confiscated it. She was livid.
They must sense sentimental value somehow. I had a small pocketknife from my now deceased uncle taken away but have flown multiple times since with a Leatherman I bought and straight up forgot was in the backpack just to be waved right through
Wow ok I have two. The first is long.
I moved to the Netherlands in 1991, and in the spring of 1992 my parents asked me to come home for a visit because my grandmother was dying. Which sucked.
Anyway I think I’m going to be the cool kid and smuggle some of this sweet Dutch weed back to the States. But how? Checked luggage, no control. Something on my person but not obvious? Yeah, that’s the ticket, so I stuffed my longest glove finger full of dank weed and put in my overcoat pocket thinking I could drop it without notice if things looked bad.
I land at Hartsfield and go to get my checked luggage, my weed infested glove in my overcoat pocket thrown over the back of the luggage trolly. There is this cute girl in a uniform with a beagle on a leash. The dogs starts walking toward the luggage trolly, and I’m getting nervous. He has a big old sniff and the cute girl gives him a treat. She walks up to me and says, “Sir, do you have any …fruit?”
I’m trying very hard to play it cool, but I’m sure I was not. My then girlfriend now wife had put a banana in the other overcoat pocket so I’d “eat healthy.” I answered yes, I have a banana and she says, “Then you’ll have to go to Agricultural Customs.”
Which at that time was in the basement of Hartsfield. There is only one counter with two official dudes behind it and my hand to god, two dudes with a fucking goat. These four have a very long back and forth until one of the dudes makes a call, and this other dude comes down and starts speaking French to the Two Men and a Goat. All’s well, the dudes and their goat are free to go.
[The entire time about 50m away there were constant patrols with the actual drug dogs, the german Shepards walking past me while I’m thinking fuck they are going to catch me, put me in a hole and sodomize me.]
I walk up to the two dudes at the counter and they ask me what I have. I pull out the banana which is pretty banged up at this point. They asked if I wanted to eat it, and I said no, so they directed me to a trash can behind them told me to throw it away and be on my way.
The great irony is when I finally got home to SC my mom had scored what turned out to the best weed any of us had ever smoked, and my nearly-failed career as a drug mule was all for naught.
The second one happened recently. I was going to my company’s office party at their HQ in Cyprus, flying out of Schiphol (Amsterdam). My bag goes through the scanner, gets sent down the “we gonna open this son” track. The dude points at my suitcase and asks what is on this side of it. I open it and show him one full half of the suitcase is filled with this https://www.oetker.nl/recepten/r/gevulde-speculaas which are rectangular stuffed pastry things we eat around the feast of St Nicolas (eve).
He pointed at them and looked at me somberly and said, “This is bad, very bad.” I said, Ummm, they are just treats for my coworkers.” He looked at me, back down, and said “This is forbidden, you are in trouble.” Then he said nothing and I said nothing and then he busted into laughter.
He said, “I’m just fucking with you man. Under the scanner those look exactly like C-4.”
So for any Dutch traveling around xmas, many don’t bring those with you.
That was a great read friend! It made me laugh at least twice.
Had a pedal spanner confiscated, I’d borrowed it from a colleague to fix my bike and put it in my laptop bag so I wouldn’t forget it, but sent on a trip before I went back to the office. I bought him the nicest spanner I could find to replace it.
sandwich spread
Goldfish crackers and a cold pack.
Cold pack maybe. Goldfish though? Someone was hungry and they just got a free snack.
I had a bag of coffee taken. It was from a company called “Doomsday” and had a logo of a gas mask on the bag. It was very clearly labeled as whole bean coffee, but TSA deemed it too unsafe.
because, as everyone knows, terrorists have a colorful sense of humor.
A water bottle with shards of ice in it that had melted partially. I’m being dead ass serious, btw. Happened to me at Louisville airport.
curious, why was there ice in your bottle?
edit: i was genuinely curious guys i’m sorry!?
A very small closed (with the plastic still around it and intact) water bottle. Did not blame the security people though, they are just doing their jobs. But kind of useless to take it away, it was unopened and bought at a store within the airport (even had the receipt).
How about not confiscated?
Was in New Orleans for the Jazz Festival.
My wife gets headaches, so we brought an ice bag like this one:
In the morning we fill it with ice in our hotel, and toss it in a backpack. We empty the water at the end of the day.
On the last day, we gather our luggage and gear and head to the airport.
When we got home I realized that my backpack went through the airport scanners with the ice bag full of water. Probably about a quart.
I think that might be above what’s allowed.
Some scanners are modern enough to be able to differentiate between water and non-permitted liquids.
I was able to bring a 1L (33floz) on a plane from FRA.
It just needed to go through the scanner. Same with carry-on.
A bottle of water.
Never had an issue in the US. Coming back from Cozumel Mexico one of their security people was on a pair of micro wire cutters, had to empty most of a bag so she could “find” them. Then she took it to a supervisor who said it was fine so she gave them back and I wasted another 5 minutes repacking my bag wasting their space. I had flown down with them and passed through TSA again heading home without issue.
When I got to Cozumel they decided I needed extra screening because of all my cases. I was there to SCUBA dive. Woman in front of me lost like six cartons of cigarettes and had to pay a fine. Her husband passed through and was gone, she was pissed… Dude half ass checked my two cases, carry on bag, and personal item bag and sent me on my way.
Is that a common thing? I’ve traveled all across Europe, to Australia, and to the US and never had a single item confiscated.
I travelled to the UK back in the 2000s, and they confiscated a bottle of lens liquid I had mistakenly put in my handluggage rather than the main luggage.
Yes
Never confiscated, but apparently sleeved Magic the Gathering cards look like explosives to the TSA. I kept getting “randomly” searched and being late for flights until I finally asked the dude why I kept getting “randomly” flagged for additional screening and he told me. It was also frequently cold when I was traveling and my suitcase was often left in the trunk of a cold car all day while I was at work and that also makes them suspicious of my belongings.
Not really useless, and I volunteered it for disposal… a small LED torch. I was entering New Zealand, which has extremely strict biohazard rules. I remembered that I’d used the torch a few times while beekeeping in the UK. The risk was vanishingly small, but still a risk, so I handed it over and it went in the bin.
A block of Skyrr butter in Iceland. Was told its a liquid. And double checked, yeah, it was considered a liquid
Before even being allowed to queue, security cared a lot that I present some email of the company I’m flying with. I had just sent the QR code to my phone, but the person doesn’t have a scanner (so what is this going to prove?) and so she requires seeing the email for the privilege of confiscating toiletries. Of course the airline later scanned it just fine but I’d not have gotten on the airplane that day if I had given my laptop away as checked luggage (didn’t have email on phone back then)
Of course she didn’t more than glance at it, no identity card check to compare the name or anything. An invoice from my mom’s dentist would probably have done the trick. Balancing a laptop on a knee, trying to two-handed type a password that you only know as muscle memory, is the sort of reason they require you to plan two hours “just in case we come up with more bullshit than expected for you or a passenger ahead of you”
And yes, my backpack with electronics needed to be flagged, bomb tested, and the last sip of water needed to be finished because the bottle was theoretically capable of holding an amount over the limit. Makes sense.
A 5mm Allen wrench was taken from me in Istanbul. The 4mm was ok, he looked at both, but the 5 could be dangerous. They were THE EXACT SAME SIZE. Standard L-shape