RetroFedI can’t wait to be trapped in a modern day labyrinth with one of these after I anger some billionaire
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cannedtuna
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Don’t worry, they made sure it’s killable!
inverse airbag safety
I’m pretty sure they know exactly what they’re doing.
LOL
I would run for my life.
Run up the spiral stairs.
Looks like something from the SCP wiki
I’m gonna fuck it.
ಠ_ಠ
spoiler
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
Yeah it needs a fleshlight mount on the backside and I’ll take it to a cliff where it has no choice but to push back.
Well SatansMaggotyCumFart, you have clearly thought about this quite in detail!
Honestly the only surprising part here is that you haven’t.
Only if it doesn’t fuck you first
Either way I win.
https://www.satyress.com/
jfc, could they make it any more fucking ominous?
Plus, the whole “you can easily disable it by puncturing the lung-analog air tank in its torso with a weapon or projectile” and “the horns are to slow it down moving through doorways” bits. What exactly are you trying to design against again because that sounds like a creature, or at the very least something autonomous, not a remote operated robot.
Surely this is satire, right?
No, it is satyress.
Possible, but I feel like a lot of effort went in for it to only be satire. No obvious AI images, multiple views of the thing including close up of the “hand” and they’re all consistent. Could be made as an art sculpture and this is the satirical product page, maybe.
Looks like all the current news coverage of it is reacting as if it’s real/credible as well.
Did you not read the company name…?
Now that’s comedy.
“You can stop it with any handgun”
sorry, dark mode users
It was supposed to be white? I see it black on my dark mode
That’s the problem, due to a transparent background it’s black on dark, making it near-invisible
It’s a teleoperated robot, not an autonomous machine. They’re designing against bad actors who might use the robot as a murderbot
It even has a fucking CHAINSAW attachment ffs! 🤦🏻
I mean, how else is it supposed to slice its way inside a burning house or forest to rescue people?
Positive thinking!
VIbes of the 7 foot tall 7/11 stocking robot.
Oh boy! I get two new nightmare demons today!
Why does it need four legs??? Why centaur??? Can we not???
Two-legged walk cycles are very complicated and unstable.
Wheels work great for indoor spaces, roads, tracks etc.
Well, this isn’t limited to indoor spaces, then.
Because it needs to be able to run after you no matter the terrain.
Then they need to give those four legs wheels, clearly.
Yes, that’s the best of both worlds. Terrain capability and speed. As-is, it won’t climb near-vertical walls like a goat anyway.
It’s meant for forestry work (good luck dodging an unexpectedly falling tree fast enough if the chainsaw hands get stuck or a branch pierces the pneumatics: bye bye expensive robot). Yes, it’s so scary I just casually mentioned CHAINSAW HANDS.
You didn’t ask, but the horns are so it can’t fit through the door (and kill you)
Actually, according to the website the horns are cameras providing a wider view so it is more capable of doing its job. Very functionally necessary. 😁
It doesn’t know how to duck?
Of course it doesn’t know how to duck. It’s a centaur, not a duck.
No no, you don’t undestand, it’s just to slow it down.
It clearly doesn’t understand how to open a door, so it’s all good (right now).
Threehalves? So… Manbearpig?
Al Gore: “I told you guys! I said I was Super Cereal.”
Yay I can hardly wait for hordes of these things owned by governments and corporations to be armed and active around the globe!
I mean at least this will replace forcing people to kill eachother. right? RIGHT?
That’s not a centaur, thats an abomination.
Oh good, you can put chainsaws in the wrist holes
It shoots a slippery white gel from its undercarriage to cause crimilals to slip up and get confused and trapped and hnnnngh
Reminds me of back in the day when I worked in various data centers that had Man-traps for controlling access. I could see them being upgraded to release one of these on you if you failed to properly authenticate when inside one.
alright, i actually kinda fuck with nightmare robots thats cool
The window to defeat the unholy alliance of fascists, technofeudalists and plutocrats in the USA is rapidly closing. After they can field such robots in mass, it’s going to be over. Forever.
Finally we’re getting to the real sexbots
Orisa
I am simply following my programming.
Do you need a hug?
Like, once you get over the terror of the very real concern that this could be used against you to injure you, it’s actually pretty cool.
I mean, imagine if you owned it, you could ride it to work, and it could use its arms to carry weapons to attack other bad centaur riders on your way into the office.
Road rage incidents become jousting matches
My human ass would gather my tribe and fuck that thing up bro it looks scary but nothing stands up to the sharp stick meta
If you go to Z’ha’dum, you will die
If they will come in sex robot flavor, where will they put the robocoochie?
Like something out of The Alchemy Wars…
Deleted by author
you also need a minotaur in the maze too.