Star Wars and Jurassic Park music composer John Williams, aged 94

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Star Wars and Jurassic Park music composer John Williams, aged 94
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Man fuck this holiday 😂

It quieted down a good bit - used to be every site had their own gag.

After the 2016 election it was quietly decided that we had been fucked with enough, and didn’t need to spend EXTRA time reading something online that we couldn’t possibly accept as being true.



I wish you warm pillows and icy bathroom floors

Soggy french fries, a dead remote control.


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Whoa. I’m saving this one for sure. 😂


May your favorite shirt never fit right again.



I hate you so much

Totally got me. Almost sent this to all my friends





Damnit… I hate you so much right now.


Fuck you. Up your nose with a rubber hose


Haha top tier shit post.


I hope you go pee in the toilet pull up your pants or put your dong back in your pants and then some pee comes out of your private part that was left inside of said private part and leaks in your pants while at your workplace so you have to be wet for awhile in your crotch area.

This happens to me a lot. Do you think it’s a curse like this or should like see a doctor maybe?

Nah just visit calicocutpants dot com


Hmm, thanks but those patterns are a bit too subtle for me.

it’s got nothing to do with piss. all the famous rap stars are wearing them






I’d like to add I hope your coffee spills on your breakfast on your way to work and you don’t have time to get another breakfast or coffee.

I don’t drink coffee, my breakfast is usually a meal replacement shake, and I work from home on most days. I wonder what long series of extremely improbable events would have to happen for me to end up owning any coffee at all and then somehow having it end up in my shaker bottle while I’m on route from the kitchen to my office.



The proper terminology is “crotchal area.”



You made me say “WHAT THE FUCK, NO!” in a meeting.

And didn’t you learn a valuable lesson about scrolling socials when you should have focused on those KPIs?



May the inside of your ear always itch. Just past the bend.


I audibly gasped 🖕




Immediately thought he must be dead. I was just saying to my partner how awesome the JP music is while we watched whatever the new piece of crap (but entertaining) thing was. Great music. Some of the best.


Don’t fucking scare me like that!

I mean, he really is 94. You’re going to have to prepare yourself.



He looks good for his age.


Ah, may he rest in sheets.

I mean everyone needs a good sleep, especially at such age


Okay you finally got me you motherfuck, proud of you ❤️


I have but one updoot to give. Fucking brilliant 👏


Literally made my heart jump.


Fuck you

You got an actual GASP out of me on this post.


Unrelated, but I just learnt that Dick van Dyke is 100 years old as of last December and still kicking.

That… How many degrees of Kevin Bacon did you fly through, to reach this thought? 👀

Famous old man still alive




i hate this day i hate this day i hate this day

my parent’s anniversary today btw. source of much ribbing for them.


Almost had my heart drop out my ass reading this.


La concha de tu madre…


Pretty asshole post, ngl



He’s decomposing




Fuck thee profligate scum.

Ave True to Caesar.



🎶Bum bum bum ba na nump bum🎶


I’m tired of looking at old man nussy.



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