Now that is a Marvel movie I'd watch

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"Name a character who can defeat Captian America". Picture of Captian America. Comment: "Captian Vietnam??"

Explanation:

The USA lost the Vietnam War

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Captain America every time the USA starts a new fucking war under barking-mad bigots:

Bonus:

Fucking based

And it’s SO, SO much worse now. Which Marvel superheroes would stand against the current US government if they existed in the real world, I wonder? I’d like to think most of them would.

Howard the Duck would for sure.


Tony Stark would be worried about the Epstein files.





Do you know which issue this is from? I’d like to read the full thing.




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Captain strict diet?

Captain metric system?

Captain World Map?

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Best one so far 😆





Whoa, let’s not lose all sense of proportion here.



Captain Covid has a nice ring to it


America is currently being absolutely destroyed by:

captain oligarch

captain propaganda (where most of the propaganda is so transparent that any decently educated 13 year old should be able to see through it)

decently educated

Ah, there’s the problem. Republican states don’t allow those types to spread.




Horror movie I want to watch, retired Americans go to a Vietnam vacation resort, One dies, accident? they keep enjoying their vacation, they slowly learn that they are not only all vets, but served in Nam, including the massacring of a village. they keep dying, no longer accidents. The resort does nothing to help. police ignore them. Twist at the end is that the whole resort was built where the village stood and all staff (and police) are descendants of survivors.

Is that really a twist?
I think a plot twist would be, if there was a metaphysical maelstrom of guilt and they kept offing themselves because of it.

stop complaining and start writing



Directed by M. Night Shamalan

Written by Mel Gibson.







Just another 58,000 soldiers in the meat grinder for another two decades and they would have won!


Who is captain America? Because the guy in the picture is captain Porto Puerto Rico 🇵🇷

Also, other options to the question: Captain Iran, Captain Afghanistan, Captain China, Captain Putin, captain Kim Yong Un

the supervillain Mango Mussolini isn’t bad at it either

Haven’t heard that one before. Do you mean Diaper Donny? I know he’s amazing at destroying America, but I wouldn’t call him a captain tbh. I prefer to call him by his official title, “pedo sex offender and crook Diaper Donny”.

Edit: oh you didn’t call him a captain but super villain. I stand corrected.



Puerto?

That’s the one! Dyslecticon non-native English speaker here, sorry

It brings back special memories.

A Puerto Rican girl in HS wrote Portorico as one word on her backpack in whiteout. I’ve made it a point to make sure I knew how to spell Puerto rico since them and not look like a fucking moron. Nothing against you, just a special memory of an idiot.

Hahaha that’s a great story, thanks! Makes my mistake feel a bit less silly haha <3





Not 🇱🇷?

His suit looks more like the Puerto Rican flag than the Liberian flag tbh

Although he does wear the A from asshole on his head hinting he might be American





Captain Dementia, currently


Isn’t that a picture of Captain Puerto Rico?


Going by kill count, i’mma say captain preventable heart disease.

Captain car accident.



Captain Taliban too


Fun fact, in one of the what if comic runs Cap goes AWOL and nominally sides with the North Vietnamese. It’s balanced out by the fact that in the absolutely worst universe Cap is a cannibal and taught nick fury, the one with the X-men concentration camp not Marvel zombie.


Captain Canada - Origins

Last time we fucked with Canada, they burned down the White House.

That’s basically Vindicator. You can’t blame the Canucks for sacking your capitol for a laugh though - it was an early barmy army visit https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burning_of_Washington


When the White House was burned down, there wasn’t really a Canada yet. There were multiple different British colonies to the north of the US, but they didn’t consider themselves to be a countries at that point in time.

Also, the burning of the Washington was a response to the American burning of York (now Toronto) a year earlier. That was seen as a war crime, because you didn’t torch civilian infrastructure during a war, at least not on purpose. When the British took Washington, they could have burned the whole thing down, but even though they were taking revenge for the Americans burning and looting York, they held back and only burned government buildings.

Captain Canada - Origins



That was actually England.

Captain Canada - Origins




He’s hidden in the trees, Steve. You’ll never see him coming.


Captain Vietnam aka Anh Hung


Technically, Captain Britain is 1-1 if you count the War of 1812 as a British victory.


For real though, the actual Captain America superhero is pretty vulnerable. He took Super Soldier Serum so he’s stronger than regular people. But, he couldn’t beat the Hulk, Doctor Doom, Magneto, Ultron, Thanos, etc. in a one-on-one fight.


Captain Great Depression

Bro the America that Captain America represents is LITERALLY the Awakened Giant (and believes in segregation)



Even when the war happened before I was born it doesn’t feel like “history” to me. Maybe because of all the movies that revolve around it.



Never watched a cap movie but would watch that movie.


IT WAS A TIE!

AAASSSHOOOOOOOOOOLE!

Oh no, it’s kuh-kuh-kuh-Ken, kuh-kuh-kuh-coming to kuh-kuh-kuh-kill me




What about Captain Capitalism?


Unfortunately although not in Vietnam in the majority of his comics they did the cowardly thing and avoided the subject altogether.


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