licensed narrative auditor

I’m going to be straightforward with you because I think you can handle it.

I’m a licensed narrative auditor and I’ve been reviewing this scene’s emotional output. You are currently at 340% of the recommended yearning threshold. That’s not a typo. Three hundred and forty percent.

Here’s what I found:

• Someone looked at someone else “like they were the only person in the room.” There were four other people in the room. I’ve spoken to them. They feel excluded.
• A name was whispered “like it was sacred.” We checked. It’s not sacred. It’s a regular name. Dave, I think.
• The background music changed to solo piano and nobody authorized it. The pianist has no contract. She’s been playing for free this entire time. We’re looking into it.

I’m placing a temporary hold on all lingering gazes. You can have them back once the paperwork clears.