RetroFedMy father wants to pay for a family tomb so that when I die, I can be buried there as well. Do I let him or try to stop him?
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my father is religious, I’m not and I don’t care what happens to my body after I die. Burn me, use me to feed stray cats.
To me, wasting money to buy a plot of land so I may be buried with them when I die is a stupid idea.
It is, however, his money. Who am I to disagree with him?
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It’s his money. Let him do it, if it makes him happy. You don’t have to use it.
Under most circumstances you will have more time to decide this than your father.
Let him do what he needs. Don’t argue. Again, your decision will likely get to come after he has passed.
@vestmoria@linux.community i was going to suggest doing what @TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com was recommending; let him have is way and later, if you inherit the plot, sell it.
if you’re lucky, he bought it in southwestern california or anywhere else with the combination of a strong religious presence bordering on fundamentalism and highly sought after real estate.
One thing that does matter: regardless what they do with your body, it costs money, usually money that comes out of your estate or gets dumped on your children.
Having a pre-designated tomb already paid for alleviates that at least, much less cost on your loved ones and one less thing for them to have to worry about in their time of grief.
It can be kimd of challenging to, right in the middle of grieving, having to stop and handle all the beaurecracy and pricing and etc.
Having that settled ahead of time allows your loved ones to focus on just grieving. And I think thats good.
You might not realize it but I think this alone demonstrates your dad is thinking about you here, he is handling his own funeral proceedings so you wont even need to think about it when the day comes. Thats a very kind thing to do, even if he doesn’t say it.
I agree with you that it is just so stupid.
How people deal with death is wild to me. When I was still in college the brother of an old high school friend died so I received an invite to the funeral.
Keep in mind this was 30+ years ago. My old buddy, who was working a retail job went 25,000 USD in debt to fund the funeral. It was absurd how much he borrowed. By comparison two years later when I graduated college I was 23,000 in debt.
I also agree with you, when I die, take as many organs as you can, use the left overs for medical students and after throw the rest in trash, use it to feed the fish, whatever..
I just want to be yote in the dumpster, but that’d probably get a lot of people I do care about in a fuck ton of trouble.
I am with you man!
If you really care that little about what happens to your corpse, why does having it stuffed in a box with your family bother you so much?
Think of it this way: It makes him happy and it resolves one of the issues your own loved ones will have to deal with after you die. Things like burials, funerals and graves aren’t really for the deceased, they are for the people who cared about the deceased. They are expressions of and a way for them to deal with their grief. So, when you kick it, the people who cared about you will be having to deal with all that. It’s rather nice of your father to be saying, “here, let me take care of that problem for them.”
Unless you have a serious reason, not to be buried there, Then let him buy a plot. It isn’t like it’s going to hurt you or offend you. You’re dead at that point so I’m not sure your body is really going to care where you’re laying at. If you don’t believe in an afterlife, you’re dead and you won’t even realize it. If you believe in an afterlife, you probably still won’t care. So let him have his way if he’s willing to pay for it.
I think if it was me I wouldn’t worry about it. As you say, it’s his money and you’ll presumably outlive him, so then your options are: a) just leave it and then your eventual funeral stuff is mostly sorted, saving your loved ones a bunch of money and stress one day or b) you can just disregard it and do whatever you want.
He can do what he wants, but you can also do what you want. I’d play along. Chances are, he won’t be there to argue with you when you go.
My grandfather bought a plot with 5 spaces next to each other in a graveyard you can no longer get plots for, thinking him his wife and his 3 boys would be buried there. His did this when the boys were under 10 years old. The ones for him and my grandma are used now, but the three boys are grown, moved away from that small town and with grandkids of their own now and they will not be using the plot.
Let him do what he wants with his money, but he is delusional if he thinks his children will be buried there too.
My father has also had an obsession about the family burial plot. I personally don’t give a shit where my carcase goes after I’m gone.
Those things can also be ‘segregating’. Me and my wife are invited, but my sisters spouse is not. Father never approved him because he’s a latino. He really doesn’t care, but it’s still an a nasty statement.
It’s his money. If you don’t care, let them bury you there.
Family tomb seems like a nice thing to have.
A father should never bury his child